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[ditzyprincess]

Let me know if they're any good.

Opening Night

You shiver as the nerves creep up and it,
Feels like you're going to get sick. But no,
The spiders and snakes that creep have to quit
climbing up your arms. It's time for the show.

Getting ready with everyone else, you
Warm up your voice, brush on tons of makeup,
and peek out into the audience who
are waiting for the stage to wake up.

Your stage family gathers in a tight
circle to hear the pep talk of your life.
The Director will speak of things that might
bring pain to your heart that stab like a knife.

He hands this rough draft of a show into
your hands, to make it magical and fun.
This is our time, our dreams to debut,
This is our moment to have a great run.

The lights dim down, the crowd becomes quiet.
The music starts and you're ready to soar.
After, they all say you were a riot.
When they're all gone, you can still hear them roar.


Panic

Please, please, stay with me. Don't leave me alone.
I cannot stand that I'm shaking this way.
I need your help, I can't stop on my own.

Can't stop moving my hands; feel like I've blown
my whole entire, wasted, useless day.
Please, please, stay with me. Don't leave me alone.

I feel embarrassed. I want to postpone
This feeling. There is nothing you can say.
I need your help, I can't stop on my own.

I shake, I cry, I ring my hands, I drone,
But I cannot keep these feelings at bay.
Please, Please, stay with me. Don't leave me alone.

The causes of this attack are unknown.
When will this assault on me go away?
I need your help, I can't stop on my own.

I need you to hold me, be there to show
me that I will be all right (at least I pray).
Please, please stay with me. Don't leave me alone.
I need your help, I can't stop on my own.

Insomnia

My mind is going crazy with worries
of stresses and silly ideas.
My head is filled with "what if's?"
and "what am I going to do's?
They keep me awake at night,
stealing my cheerful thoughts.
I try to think of a happy future
but they invade my college graduation,
my first day as a teacher, my wedding.
Maybe it's the way the pillow feels,
or maybe it's because I'm not next to you,
But I can't sleep.
It's going to be a long night.

[on3.40.se7en]

The first one was good, albeit predictable. The second one got a little redundant, but it had a nice pattern to it. I did like this one. The third one was pretty good.

I would rate them:

1st: #3
2nd: #2
3rd: #1

[ditzyprincess]

The first one had to be a couplet and I couldn't think of anything except that at the particular moment.

The second had to be a villenelle (spelling?) which is extremely repetitive (the most famous poem like this is probably one called "Do Not go Gentle Into That Good Night")

The third was because I was PMSing. So thanks for saying that I write good poetry when I'm being a girl, hahahhahaha.

[on3.40.se7en]

#3 was best because you chose to write it. The first two obviously ranked lower because you were told to.

This is why fine art classes are so tough to each: You force someone to do something artistic under your terms then they turn in sub-optimal work just becuase they aren't on the same wavelength as the teacher.

[ditzyprincess]

I totally agree. I had a friend in that class who hated writing free verse, and loved to write sonnets, so the assignment had a different perspective for him, and he said basically the same thing.

[on3.40.se7en]

That (coupled with the fact that my teacher was a bleeding hemorrhoid) was why i had problems in art 2.